Friday, February 12, 2010

E'zzati's Secret.


Cousin Didi forced me to watch Haru Haru. i rmb completely putting it aside, although the "look" concept of the MV lurked ard in my head. SDO Ivy put for me all the kpop songs that she tot i wld like into my tdrive and said i should go home and listen to it. OH MY FRIEND was the "it" song for me!. ^^ \m/ BIG BANG NO BRAIN ONCE AGAIN. i only understood "1 2 3 4" "oh my friend" "let's rock and roll man i dont control" "love and peace" "trust me" "go away go away let's go away baby", but it dont matter. awesome song, love it like no other. nv hv i felt so impacted by a non-english song. ytbed n watched the MV 3 times in a row. blasted e volume n headbang, enjoyed the video concept, and marked the people to the music. CRAZY!~ some said it was a stupid collabo/the MV is nonsense, but i barely cared. what's best is, i didnt expect it to come from Big Bang, being a "kpop idol" grp. just typing abt this brings back the natural high, if you get what i mean.

so i listened back to Haru Haru, and i realized that there's so much more to Big Bang than just an ordinary grp. i loved how they manage to combine all the different styles into one song. at this period i was loving No Brain more haha. this was also the part where i started talking abt Big Bang here and there and almost got killed [exaggerating] by fangirls who found out that i was born on the exact same day as Seung Ri. at that time i didnt know!~ but he did caught my eye previously, like, i had a gutfeel of resemblance of him in myself.

after that was Stand Up intro, which i realized that they were more to hiphop in the early phase of their musicianship. altho i've been avoiding hiphop for most of my life, i actually enjoyed their music. now, i think that they are the closest thing to real hiphop as asia can get. [coz Too Phat broke up :(] i wished i was there for em in the earlier stages. but hey, they still made it without me, so that explains how useless i am in this murder city. [if you know where i got this line from, you are my best friend ;)]

Number 1!. finally a song that i understood~ what struck me most was the strong style that came with the MV. i, for one, hate to watch MVs with too many girls esp taking place in a club setting, but all the looks that came from it was just too good to not take in. and to learn that it's they who chose the styles emself, unlike those usual grps where it's their mger/stylist who asks em to wear this wear that do this do that, it made me much easier to fall for em. i rmb envying Aimee coz she got to dance with such lovely people. and the choreo seemed to just naturally appeal to me, it wasnt those typical grp looks and moves. this MV was also the one that gave me the confidence to introduce Big Bang to my non K-influenced friends. Zureena was the 1st person i introduced Big Bang to. i knew she was gna love the style that came with the MV. i hv nv regretted doing so.

Seungri's Strong Baby MV came out and obviously i love it. while ppl were making fuss abt him being "sexy" and all, and abt e kiss scene that was cut, i cant help but to notice him and be ignorant abt everything else. scary how lil things he does that if i were in his position, i wld do e exact same thing. there were also mmts when i think he does things that i doubt any other person would get. i must admit, i was looking out for mistakes and judging him and his dancing critically at first, but i diddit with love~

1st Big Bang Singapore Fanmeet thru 1 of e sources i relied on most was organized, what fantastic timing you tell me. i was so happy to get to appreciate Big Bang with strangers. a lot of things happened on e day, both good n bad, but i loved it and wldnt hv had it any other way.

despite my crazy english [as you can see from this post], i cant mention his name initially!. i kept gg "GHEE GRAGON" HAHA XD i gave up n decided to just use "Ji Yong". further into my Big Bang love n chatting with VIPuras, i started using "GD", before slowly getting to "G Dragon". i still like “Ji Yong” most :) what struck me most was his style!. be it fashion, sound, movement, energy, everything. i like how he always pushes "it" and try to improve the somein altho it's e same thing. lastly, like how he doesnt settle for less, like "somein simple". there's this sense of flashy-ness flamboyant urban vibe abt him that i adore and respect.

i do know of G-Ri, and i hv tot of how it'd be like if he were to know me [in case you're wondering, coz of the same bday with SeungRi n all :)] haha, i dont know what will happen myself, i think G-E'zza-Ri will just trip over ourselves n have a good laugh :D someimes it drives me crazy when i cant get to do Big Bang related fanstuff that is up to my standard, for fear that he might find out and be mad at me for being an insult to his works -_-" i hope that one day i'll be satisfied enough with myself to come forward. i am biased to him in terms of style and
sound. :D

HAHA!. WHAT CAN I SAY!. :D what do you want me to say also!. :D okay i did freak out when i found out he was born on the same exact day month and year. how cld things be so coincidental!. out of all ppl... haha. and him being popular in his hometown Gwangju, and me and my intangible attachment to Ang Mo Kio. failing auditions due to insufficient height, and not as strong vocals. to even doing the same poses in photos without realizing it. and of course, the undeniable SELF-CONFIDENCE!~ HAHA ;)

i think i hv a [one-sided, haha] love/hate rship with him. i love him [can say so] n e things he does!~ :D i hate it when does things that reminds me so much of myself so publicly!. it's like, what he reveals of himself is indirectly a revelation of all the pieces of me!. and some stuff, i suppose im just not ready to show yet. so yeah. eitherway, my bdays r nv the same anymore, every 12 of the mth i will think of him and how i wna meet him so bad :) every now n then i'll think of what is he dancing to now, i hope one day i'll get to listen to his mp3/ipod/wtv.

im always asked "what wld you say to him if you meet him?.", n "if you cld spend a day with him what wld you do?.", n e likes, but sad to say, i dont hv a fixed answer for that!. i think, when e mmt comes, everything will just happen naturally :) i hv tot of how it'd be like if Big Bang were to know my existence, and how his parents and my parents wld react if they knew they had children born on the exact same day. haha, it wld be the strangest thing out of the century!~ :D i am biased to him in terms of everything and dance. :D

since the start, i find him really cute. and i really like his deep voice, maybe due to my rock influences :) i admired that he doesnt take his shirt as much as the rest!. haha and i think that he's the best bboxer and rapper that Korea can get :) i hv a friend who is pretty similar to him, along with the "heartthrob" feel+-, someimes it feels as if i knew him all along. his sound appeals the most to me. i am biased to him in terms of hiphop and toys [like, action figures n accesories :)]

i rmb watching him dance to Falling Out n Freeze, and thinking that he's the most handsome short man i've ever seen. i didnt really like him bcoz he takes his shirt off too much n is a bit too perfect for my liking. over time i started appreciating such high quality work from him, altho his style doesnt appeal to me. and i find that he's just very... real?. power to short, handsome, n real men!. haha. i am biased to him in terms of perfection n making everything look betta.

he makes me wonder how one can smile so much. i admire how free his voice is, and how i can alwaysenjoy a wholesome work from him. i am biased to him in terms of voice control n un-emo-ness haha.

nowadays, 1third of SonE'zzati is kmusic, and it's mostly their songs n [No Brain!. \m/] theres not a day that goes by without me listening to a Big Bang song. fortnightly+-, i hv to check out news on them. photos, fancams, merch, anything. Big Bang Japan Album was the 1st one that i bought, as in real CD format with the packaging n free poster n all. i think that it's hard to not like Big Bang initially, it's even harder to not love em eventually :)

i dont know if i deserve to call myself a "fangirl" or even "VIP". not that i compare myself a lot with the rest, but it's as if what i do for love for Big Bang seems so... meaningless when put side by side. yeah i may hv written a few stuff n doodled n promoted em, n buy their stuff here n there, but that's pretty much it. i wish that i cld do more tho, there's just so many things that i wna contribute in one way or another.

i dont know why i spot for mistakes in their work. some ppl say to love is to care unconditionally and look on the good qualities of the other party. if it is, then i think i fail in loving. bcoz it's the imperfect things that make me love even more.

i dont know why i cant sleep the night before their concert/big performance. it's not like as if i'll be able to be there, or even be performing with em, but i just wont be able to sleep well. and when i do get some sleep, my dreams will always be filled with things that they'd think abt for e performance.

i dont know why i derive such pleasure in their work. most of my free time r spent dissecting their music so that i can get a clearer sound of all the intimate lil details n work put into the whole thing. either that, or im re-watching their dance choreos or re-looking at their design concepts. sorry to break it to you, i am not sucha crazy fan abt e rest of kpop, so my sincere apologies goes out to you if you expect me to hv e same energy n excitement for your favourites. trust me, i dont mean to spoil your fun. we should know.

i dont know if it's written on my face. i get Koreans randomly coming up to me and telling me that they like Jiyong, and i wish i knew enough Korean to get by with a decent conversation. but i hope it nv fades away.

if you've actually read every word till you reach here, you're either a true friend of mine or you love Big Bang as much as i do [or more haha] or both haha :D

i really want to meet SeungRi. i really want to meet Big Bang too, but for now, just SeungRi will do. i’ve never wanted anything else as much though…haha anyway. i should stop thinking about it, makes me sad it might nv happen. it's tragic HAHA

[TOTAL = 2077 WORDS]!. O.O

Love xoxoxox Nebs

No comments: